Recently, I watched a TV show where foreign friends were traveling around Korea. In one scene, a friend who had already settled in Korea was explaining various aspects of Korean culture to friends who had just arrived. One of the things he mentioned with amusement was the phrase "술을 배우다" (learning how to drink) in Korea. While this expression might sound odd to foreigners, it’s quite familiar to Koreans. Today, I’d like to share a bit about how Koreans "learn" to drink.
The Concept of "주도" (Judo, Drinking Etiquette)
In Korea, "주도" refers to the etiquette that comes with drinking, especially when drinking with older people or superiors. There’s a saying that a young adult’s first experience with alcohol should come from an elder, usually a parent. This tradition aims to ensure that the newly-turned adult learns to handle their newfound freedom responsibly. Drinking with peers without moderation can lead to bad habits, which is why parents play a crucial role in teaching self-control from the start. This is essentially the first step in "learning how to drink."
Examples of Drinking Etiquette
Korean drinking culture is filled with many rules and customs, though some seem unnecessary or outdated. For example, hiding the alcohol label with your hand while pouring for an elder, or making someone drink three shots in a row if they arrive late to a gathering—these practices, while common, don’t really have much to do with etiquette.
Setting aside these more questionable customs, here are a few essential tips for proper behavior in a Korean drinking setting:
Receive a drink with both hands:
In Korean culture, it’s respectful to use both hands when receiving anything from an elder, including a drink.
Don’t drink before your elder:
Just like in family meals, where no one starts eating until the eldest person picks up their spoon, it’s polite in drinking settings to wait for the oldest person to take the first sip.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a Ugandan student. In Uganda, the youngest person is expected to start eating first as a sign of consideration for them. It’s fascinating how in Korea, the respect goes to the eldest, while in Uganda, it’s directed toward the youngest. Both approaches have good intentions but reflect very different cultural values.
Turn your head to the side when drinking in front of an elder:
It’s considered polite to slightly turn your head away when drinking in front of someone older. This small gesture shows deference and respect.
The Most Important Rule
In my opinion, the most important rule in Korean drinking etiquette is moderation. The customs mentioned above are secondary to the idea of not overindulging. Drinking to the point where you lose control renders all other etiquette meaningless.
In the past, refusing a drink from an elder was seen as disrespectful. However, social norms have changed, and today it’s much more acceptable to politely decline.
➤ At its core, drinking should be an enjoyable social activity. If you drink too much, it becomes impossible to enjoy the moment, which is why self-restraint is the foundation of drinking etiquette. This, I believe, is the true essence of "learning how to drink" in Korea.
